Quotes from Last Fall's Conference.

I have watched sports fans vilify and demonize their rivals. They look for any flaw and magnify it. They justify their hatred with broad generalizations and apply them to everyone associated with the other team. When ill fortune afflicts their rival, they rejoice.

Brethren, unfortunately we see today too often the same kind of attitude and behavior spill over into the public discourse of politics, ethnicity, and religion.

My dear brethren of the priesthood, my beloved fellow disciples of the gentle Christ, should we not hold ourselves to a higher standard? As priesthood bearers, we must realize that all of God’s children wear the same jersey. Our team is the brotherhood of man. This mortal life is our playing field. Our goal is to learn to love God and to extend that same love toward our fellowman. We are here to live according to His law and establish the kingdom of God. We are here to build, uplift, treat fairly, and encourage all of Heavenly Father’s children.

--Dieter F. Uchtdorf "Pride and the Priesthood"

Mrs. L challenged her seminary class before Conference Weekend last October to ponder what question they hoped would be addressed. That evening, at dinner, she talked about doing it as a family. I remember feeling instantly hopeful to hear something about the level of animosity and personal hostility in political rhetoric. It is disheartening to hear the truly hate-filled language that people on the opposite sides of issues use to characterize their opponents.

So when Elder Uchtdorf said the above paragraphs, I totally elbowed Max and whispered, "This is it! This is the one I was waiting for!"

Homemade Donuts

Start with an empty scotch tape roll. Take the dispenser apart and then use a pair of scissors or a wire cutter to trim the spool down to a little tube like this.



Buy the cheapest brand of biscuits you can find, you know those tubes that POP when you unpeal the outside?

Use the trimmed-down scotch tape spool and cut out the centers of your biscuits. Save the middles for later.

Heat up a bottle of vegetable oil in a good heavy pot.



VERY carefuly put the "donuts" in the oil once it's good and hot. If you drop them in, the oil will splash up and burn your hand!

We have a cool metal dipper thingy we could lower them into the oil with.



Watch the dough, it cooks fast. Force them to rotate with the handle of a wooden spoon. When they are nice and golden, lift them out and set them on some paper towels to dry and cool a little.

Then cover them! We tried brown sugar with cinnamon, but the sugar didn't stick at all. Cocoa powder with powdered sugar was delicious, but super messy (the mixture stayed kind of fudgy). Plain old sugar was very successful.



If you take the donut and rotate it in the sugar, then stand it on its side and "roll" it through the sugar like a tire, you get really good coverage.



It ends up being more like frybread than donuts, but a fun way to pass the afternoon on a cold February day!

Every Epic Love Story Chapter Seven; Dating (or How Three Weeks Can Seem Like at Least Four Weeks)

See? Four months IS sooner than nine!

It was very simple; Jenni broke with me, and in response, I wrote Jennilyn the best love note I had ever written. I implored her to try me. Try us.

She did. And we were off!

Boy did we date.

My grades suffered. My sleep suffered. I don’t think I spent five minutes with my friends those final three weeks of the semester (though I bumped into them as I was showering or brushing my teeth on my way out to see her; they teased, but I knew it was because they were jealous). I saw her every day, as much as I could. I could not get enough of her presence, her voice, her beauty.

I fell in love, completely, stupidly, scorch-the-rest-of-the-earth in love.

We did things, fun, good things. We went to movies, a play, a recital, an art exhibit, for walks, for drives (in her roommate’s truck; thanks Ellen!) devotionals. Yes, devotionals. We met with our lunches, made our way to the top row of the Marriot Center, and attended a devotionals on Tuesday at 11am. Looking back, I think Jennilyn was trying very hard to do everything right. I don’t know if it was her nervousness about dating someone younger than she was, her confusion about whether she should be preparing for marriage, her concern that I was a pre-missionary, or just her innate goodness that prompted her to be so focused on doing the right thing.

Who can ever really know ALL the reasons behind why they do the things that they do?

But her effect on our relationship was one that elevated us both. It was easier to get up on time and go to church. Easier to be cheerful, to look forward to a good future. She focused me on doing what was right. Though it is amazing to me that I managed to do anything but follow her around.

OK, I can admit that maybe my grades weren’t that elevated…

It was more than just wanting to be with her. More than being willing to do anything to be with her. I was willing to do anything to make her happy. Can you see the difference? Everything I had seen and felt so far made me certain that I could do that; not just enjoy myself in her company, but make HER happy. The math of that concept still infuses my self-image; I must have a positive effect on her life, so that the benefit exceeds the burden.

That notion shows up again in our relationship.

That Spring, I positively thrilled to pop up in places she didn’t expect to see me. I paid excruciating attention to her schedule, listened carefully to her talk about her plans. And then I followed her. Back then, it was actually pretty easy to know where people were on campus; you could even look up everyone’s classes on microfiche. She has an adorable startle–response, a gasp and hunching of her shoulders, that I can still provoke by showing up unexpectedly.

I kept a sort of journal of all the things we did the last few weeks of that semester. I even wrote that my reason was to remember it all in case we didn’t get married. I suppose I was a little arrogant about my value, even then. I recognize my own handwriting, but in my mind, it sounds like my NOW voice saying things like that. How could I have known then all that would come since?

Jennilyn and I embraced every young–love cliché you could imagine.

We walked home in the rain, holding hands.

We met for lunch in the most out-of-the-way places we could find. At the top of stairwells, in hidden corners of parks, way down at the end of dirt roads by the lake.

We fed ducks.

Discovering she liked black jelly beans, I bought a large bag of mixed flavors, and then gave her special gift of the collected licorice ones. Gross to me, but if she was happy, I was happy.

It was a risk, to pour so much of myself into a relationship that for all I knew (at the time!) was only going to last a couple of weeks. This is the joy of being young, I suppose. To be so willing to sacrifice one’s future in pursuit of happiness now. Is that bravery or foolishness?

The thing I remember being most certain of was that I did not want to look back with any regret that I had failed to give it my all.

Hindsight being perfect clarity, I am astounded at the absolute correctness of my fanaticism.

The thing is, I am not just telling this story in order to mentally stroll down a comforting and pleasant lane in my memory (make no mistake; I am enjoying the stroll). I want to make a point; relationships can be easy. They can be hard. They can last, edify, destroy, self-destruct, function, poison, depress, excite, anesthetize or motivate. Your relationships are all doing that right now!

When we love, we make something new. Often a relationship will spontaneously blossom into being, something new and wonderful. But once it blooms, we control what happens next.

I look back on the last three weeks of my Freshman Year semester and am filled with nostalgia for how awesome it was. Gratitude that my thoughtless dive into uncharted waters didn’t result in a head wound.

But most of all I am glad, really glad I can look back without regrets. I am glad I tried that hard to make it work, and to make it good. It is an effort that is still paying dividends today.

Where are your relationships headed?

Previously, on Every Epic Love Story; chapter 6.

Next chapter, Every Epic Love Story chapter 8, our first long distance relationship!