Book of Mormon Stories chapter 3

1 Nephi Chapter 3.

1 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, returned from speaking with the Lord, to the tent of my father.

Do you say a prayer before talking to your Mom and Dad?

2 And it came to pass that he spake unto me, saying: Behold I have dreamed a dream, in the which the Lord hath commanded me that thou and thy brethren shall return to Jerusalem.

How does it make you feel when Mom and Dad tell you to do one thing, and then tell you to do something almost the complete opposite? Would it help if we told you that we had a dream about it? Remember this when we read Chapter 7.

3 For behold, Laban hath the record of the Jews and also a genealogy of my forefathers, and they are engraven upon plates of brass.

Is Family History important to us? To you?

4 Wherefore, the Lord hath commanded me that thou and thy brothers should go unto the house of Laban, and seek the records, and bring them down hither into the wilderness.
5 And now, behold thy brothers murmur, saying it is a hard thing which I have required of them; but behold I have not required it of them, but it is a commandment of the Lord.

When you receive a collective assignment, which are you more likely to do? "Go clean the basement!"
What are some other "hard things" we require of you? Why do you think we ask you to do hard things? Why does God?

6 Therefore go, my son, and thou shalt be favored of the Lord, because thou hast not murmured.

How is murmuring different from good questioning?

7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

Think back through your life; even just today! What have you "gone and done" because you were told? Is obedience a habit? Do you feel rewarded for it?

8 And it came to pass that when my father had heard these words he was exceedingly glad, for he knew that I had been blessed of the Lord.

Do you know how very glad we are because of you?

9 And I, Nephi, and my brethren took our journey in the wilderness, with our tents, to go up to the land of Jerusalem.

Camping!

10 And it came to pass that when we had gone up to the land of Jerusalem, I and my brethren did consult one with another.

Do you kids ever put your heads and plan your next big thing? You are stronger together than you will ever be alone; rely on each other. Be a team, a mighty force to reckon with.

11 And we cast lots—who of us should go in unto the house of Laban. And it came to pass that the lot fell upon Laman; and Laman went in unto the house of Laban, and he talked with him as he sat in his house.

Should we use this method of assigning chores from now on?

13 And behold, it came to pass that Laban was angry, and thrust him out from his presence; and he would not that he should have the records. Wherefore, he said unto him: Behold thou art a robber, and I will slay thee.

How do you think this made Nephi feel, in terms of his surety that there would be a prepared way to accomplish his task?

15 But behold I said unto them that: As the Lord liveth, and as we live, we will not go down unto our father in the wilderness until we have accomplished the thing which the Lord hath commanded us.

When talking to your siblings, especially when you want them to do something, do you use "I/you" language ("I am so mad at you, you can't do anything right!") or "we" language ("We can do this better, we can make it work.")?

16 Wherefore, let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; therefore let us go down to the land of our father’s inheritance, for behold he left gold and silver, and all manner of riches. And all this he hath done because of the commandments of the Lord.

Would you be willing to trade everything to obey?

18 For behold, they have rejected the words of the prophets. Wherefore, if my father should dwell in the land after he hath been commanded to flee out of the land, behold, he would also perish. Wherefore, it must needs be that he flee out of the land.

Do you know our family's stories? Our personal experiences of prayer, faith, sacrifice, and obedience, such that you can discuss them among yourselves? Tell them to your own children someday? Ask us! We love to tell our story.

22 And it came to pass that we went down to the land of our inheritance, and we did gather together our gold, and our silver, and our precious things.
23 And after we had gathered these things together, we went up again unto the house of Laban.
24 And it came to pass that we went in unto Laban, and desired him that he would give unto us the records which were engraven upon the plates of brass, for which we would give unto him our gold, and our silver, and all our precious things.

27 And it came to pass that we fled into the wilderness, and the servants of Laban did not overtake us, and we hid ourselves in the cavity of a rock.

What's the most intense adventure you can remember having with your family?

28 And it came to pass that Laman was angry with me, and also with my father; and also was Lemuel, for he hearkened unto the words of Laman. Wherefore Laman and Lemuel did speak many hard words unto us, their younger brothers, and they did smite us even with a rod.

Why were the older brothers so angry? When things go wrong, do you blame other people? Have you ever lashed out physically and then realize you were totally wrong? Is it ever justified to be violent because you are angry?

29 And it came to pass as they smote us with a rod, behold, an angel of the Lord came and stood before them, and he spake unto them, saying: Why do ye smite your younger brother with a rod? Know ye not that the Lord hath chosen him to be a ruler over you, and this because of your iniquities? Behold ye shall go up to Jerusalem again, and the Lord will deliver Laban into your hands.

Do you think you could serve a younger sibling? It is important to read this section in the context of what we know happens later; note Nephi's tenderness in describing his brothers' bad behavior. Even though he knows how the story ends, does he sound hopeful that they will change, learn, repent?

31 And after the angel had departed, Laman and Lemuel again began to murmur, saying: How is it possible that the Lord will deliver Laban into our hands? Behold, he is a mighty man, and he can command fifty, yea, even he can slay fifty; then why not us?

Do you ever doubt the Lord?

Any other thoughts from you, readers? First Nephi chapter 3 is an oft-quoted section of Latter-day Saint scripture; what does it mean to you?

Book of Mormon Stories chapter 2

First Nephi, Chapter 2.

1 For behold, it came to pass that the Lord spake unto my father, yea, even in a dream, and said unto him: Blessed art thou Lehi, because of the things which thou hast done; and because thou hast been faithful and declared unto this people the things which I commanded thee, behold, they seek to take away thy life.

How did Nephi know what happened to his Father? Do you understand why we make you wait at the dinner table and talk to us?

2 And it came to pass that the Lord commanded my father, even in a dream, that he should take his family and depart into the wilderness.

What's the craziest thing we've ever done as a family? Your parents are grateful that you have cooperated in each of the moves we've made, even when some of them might have been inconvenient for you.

3 And it came to pass that he was obedient unto the word of the Lord, wherefore he did as the Lord commanded him.

How can we support each other in being obedient?

6 And it came to pass that when he had traveled three days in the wilderness, he pitched his tent in a valley by the side of a river of water.
15 And my father dwelt in a tent.

Do we need to go camping more as a family? Would that be a productive way to spend time and prepare for the future?

7 And it came to pass that he built an altar of stones, and made an offering unto the Lord, and gave thanks unto the Lord our God.

When we have moved, what was the first thing you packed? The first thing you did after you arrived at a new place?

9 And when my father saw that the waters of the river emptied into the fountain of the Red Sea, he spake unto Laman, saying: O that thou mightest be like unto this river, continually running into the fountain of all righteousness!
10 And he also spake unto Lemuel: O that thou mightest be like unto this valley, firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord!

What do Father's Blessings represent? What do you remember from yours?

11 Now this he spake because of the stiffneckedness of Laman and Lemuel; for behold they did murmur in many things against their father, because he was a visionary man, and had led them out of the land of Jerusalem, to leave the land of their inheritance, and their gold, and their silver, and their precious things, to perish in the wilderness. And this they said he had done because of the foolish imaginations of his heart.

What is "murmuring"? How is it destructive? Why do caution you against name-calling?

12 And thus Laman and Lemuel, being the eldest, did murmur against their father. And they did murmur because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them.

What do you think it means that they "knew not the dealings"? Remember how Nephi sought a personal witness of what his Father said; do you have a personal testimony of what we teach you?

13 Neither did they believe that Jerusalem, that great city, could be destroyed according to the words of the prophets. And they were like unto the Jews who were at Jerusalem, who sought to take away the life of my father.

What is the most impossible thing your parents have ever asked you to believe? What did you do about it?

16 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, being exceedingly young, nevertheless being large in stature, and also having great desires to know of the mysteries of God, wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore, I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers.

What responsibility do children have to review what they are taught by their parents? Should you take our word for it? Should you reject it because we just don't understand?

17 And I spake unto Sam, making known unto him the things which the Lord had manifested unto me by his Holy Spirit. And it came to pass that he believed in my words.

What about siblings; what responsibility do children have toward each other? What about the direction to not judge one another (the "mote/beam" issue)?

18 But, behold, Laman and Lemuel would not hearken unto my words; and being grieved because of the hardness of their hearts I cried unto the Lord for them.

Do you pray for one another, specifically, by name?

20 And inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, ye shall prosper, and shall be led to a land of promise; yea, even a land which I have prepared for you; yea, a land which is choice above all other lands.
21 And inasmuch as thy brethren shall rebel against thee, they shall be cut off from the presence of the Lord.
22 And inasmuch as thou shalt keep my commandments, thou shalt be made a ruler and a teacher over thy brethren.
23 For behold, in that day that they shall rebel against me, I will curse them even with a sore curse, and they shall have no power over thy seed except they shall rebel against me also.
24 And if it so be that they rebel against me, they shall be a scourge unto thy seed, to stir them up in the ways of remembrance.

Is there a point where we shut "cut off" family? Or are we supposed to forgive one another over and over again? How can you be wise and merciful? What are you doing to avoid contention in our home?

Summer Movie Preview

How to love movies, my way. First, be a cineaste. It’s pronounced “Sih-nee-ehst,” and it means someone who loves films. A cinemaphile, a devotee of movies.

You hate pan-and-scan. You love letterboxing. Mostly, anyway.

You hate dubbing. You love subtitles (which conveniently go in the black bars of the letterbox).

You hate years-later politically-correct re-editing of classic scenes. You love director’s cuts, unless they are self-indulgent craptastic versions (it’s easy to tell the difference); then you love the original artistic vision (Han Solo shot Greedo first, the road block police in "ET" had shotguns, not radios, etc.).

Hate the Hollywood version. Love the foreign-language original (Note; there are notable exceptions to this rule; i.e. “A Fistful of Dollars” does a good job of reimagining “Yojimbo”. You can like the Hollywood version, you just have to defer to the foreign original).

Hate colorization. Love remastered originals.

Hate spoilers. Love good reviews.

You love movies. You know to not be afraid of other genres. There are some fantastic documentaries/chick flicks/action/war/historical/animated/foreign (whichever genre you think you don’t like) films.

You are picky; there are thousands and thousands of films available, you never need to “settle” for a bad film, and should be terribly, terribly embarrassed if you ever do. Stop the film, walk out, turn it off!

But how to be picky? I think you should be discriminating in two ways, morally and artistically. “...Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom, seek learning, even by study and also by faith.” (D&C 88: 118, 109: 7, 14)

First, there is the issue of moral content; how do you judge whether or not to see a film based on the morality of the characters in the film itself? For many of my peers and their families, this might be sub-titled "The Rated ‘R’ Question". Let’s be blunt; if you have made the decision to forgo seeing rated-R films, that’s fine. But it’s up to you to hold that standard. It’s up to you to use that standard to cull through what’s available; understand, it doesn’t give you a free pass to go see anything else that’s not rated ‘R’.

Having said that, here’s a extended quote from an article, by Kieth Merrill , an academy award-winning LDS filmmaker (taken from his review of “The Passion of the Christ”)

“Let me address this R rated issue first. I think it would be sad if you relinquished your agency to the MPAA and miss the film only on the basis of the collision between “rated R” and Mormon doctrine.

“Obedience is better than sacrifice. I encourage no one to do anything inconsistent with their faith. I believe in following the prophet. In 1986 President Benson told the Aaronic Priesthood, ‘We counsel you, young men . . . don't see R rated movies or vulgar videos or participate in any entertainment that is immoral, suggestive or pornographic.’ Every prophet since has reiterated that inspired advice.

“The doctrine of R rated evolved in the 2001 Strength of Youth Pamphlet. ‘...choose only entertainment and media that uplift you. Good entertainment will help you to have good thoughts and make righteous choices. It will allow you to enjoy yourself without losing the Spirit of the Lord. Do not attend, view, or participate in entertainment that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in entertainment that in any way presents immorality or violent behavior as acceptable.’
“This doctrinal document does not include any reference to R rated movies or the MPAA rating code. The responsibility is no longer carried on the shoulders of the anonymous men and women who rate the movies in Encino California. It is squarely upon us.”

I share Brother Merrill’s opinion; an ‘R’ rating for me is less important than the content of a film; the WHY of its rating. But I’m not a “young man” any more, I’m an adult. If you are a young man, then you should probably be heeding President Benson’s exhortation, shouldn’t you? For the rest of us, an "R" rating should come as a strong word of caution, but I don't think it should be the sole arbiter of good and bad. There are other sources we can use, trusted friends, the web-sites I link at the end of this article, and our own intuition, that can assist in the effort. If there is a moral benchmark you use to evaluate films before seeing them, please link it in a comment to this post.

So to sum; the first thing that's important is to have a moral compass. Judge movies based on their content, the influence they will have on you, their value. Stay clear of films that celebrate deparavity, that reward irresponsibility.

The second test is whether or not to see a film based on its artistic content, the aesthetic of film. This is what I have done;

If you can, find a reviewer you trust. This takes some experimenting. Frankly, I haven't found one lately, not since Chris Hicks retired from the Deseret News. But if you *do* find one, good on you! I rely heavily on Rotten Tomatoes to help me know the artistic merit of a film, but an individual reviewer with opinions that resonate with you can also help you evaluate a film on its moral terms as well.

Be an informed consumer of film; note the actors, directors, screenwriters who make work you really enjoy, and sample other works from them.

It’s OK to enjoy trailers for films, and to draw some impressions based on them, but be realistic; lots of movies have great trailers, but are totally worthless as films. Never see a film based on its trailer.

When it doubt, use "Best of " lists to help you pick a film. Here are a few;

"The A list : the National Society of Film Critics' 100 essential films"; edited by Jay Carr. This book purports to have collected seminal works of cinema. Every movie it suggests is worth watching.

American Film Institute’s 100 Greatest Movies of All Time

IMDB’s Top 250 Films of All Time

Oscar Winners. Every movie ever nominated for a Best Picture Oscar, or for which a director was given a best director nomination, is worth a look; note that prior to 1944, pictures were nominated for “Outstanding Motion Picture.” From 1944 onward, the nominees were reduced to only five in number, and the award retitled “Best Motion Picture.”


Some other web-sites


Rotten Tomatoes.
The best review site, ever. The only thing that is better, is if there is a particular movie reviewer you REALLY trust (see above). They collect reviews from dozens (sometimes hundreds) of reviewers, and then average the reviews to give you a percentage. For example, “Terminator: Salvation” is a movie made for me; but it's tanking with a 30% rating; fan-boy cred notwithstanding, you couldn't pay me to see a film with a rating that poor. If anyone asks me for a recommendation on what to see any given weekend, RT is the first place I go. Great place to get an at-a-glance sense of how good the film is going to be. I have NEVER enjoyed a movie that got a less than 50% rating here. I have also never failed to ENJOY a film that got a better than 80% rating.

The International Movie Database.
Has the complete credits (actors, directors, screenwriters) for pretty much ever film ever made, as well as an average rating for each one (on a how-many-stars out of ten scale). Their top 250 films of all time (mentioned above) is a nice place to start if trying to develop a taste for good cinema. Plus it’s a great place to review a particular artist’s body of work. For example, I love every movie I’ve ever seen directed by Akira Kurosawa, or by James Cameron, so I can pull up a list and see what else they’ve done.

Screen It.
This is a site for parents, but great for anyone who wants a detailed list of what dramatic, visual, dialog, etc. reasons a movie is rated whatever. They give very matter-of-fact observations of swearing, sexual content, etc. Frankly, reading one of their reviews might spoil the film, but if you need to know whether or not a film is going to be acceptable (and don't have time to preview it personally), this site can be a life-saver.

So! With all the precursors out of the way, onto Summer Movies, with dates and a recommendation or guess.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine 01-MAY-09 Not worth your time; good effects, crappy movie though. Trust the reviews.

Star Trek 08-MAY-09 Hits on all cylinders, though I am making my kids watch some old episodes before they see it. My favorite sequel/reinvention movie in a long time (and that includes the new Batman franchise).

Angels and Demons 15-MAY-09 Not a big fan of the author, not a big fan of the last movie, so I'm not seeing it. Got crummy reviews, too. I remember when National Treasure came out, thinking that, "Hey, this film is just ripping off Indiana Jones". But the puzzle-solving archeology/history films since then have all been awful. Now, I'm just hoping for another National Treasure.

Terminator Salvation 21-MAY-09 As noted above; I am very disappointed this is reviewing so poorly. Maybe a library rental when it's on DVD.
Night at the Museum: Battle of The Smithsonian 20th 22-MAY-09 If you liked the first movie, or the second, I'm sure you'll like this one.

Up 29-MAY-09 Pixar hasn't made a dud yet.

Land of the Lost 05-JUN-09 Will Farrell can be funny, and I liked him in "Stranger than Fiction". I admire that he'll do just about anything for comedy, but this . . . just looks like running and screaming. Not funny.

The Taking of Pelham 123 12-JUN-09 I wish Tony Scott would stop making movies, and just help his brother Ridley. Maybe he could concentrate on "Numb3rs". Either way, every film he's made in decades is jittery, loud, over-produced, and silly. Too bad, the original film was ahead of its time and pretty good.

Year One 19-JUN-09 Mel Brooks called, he said your movie is such a bad version of his idea, he doesn't even care.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen 24-JUN-09 The! Return! of! Michael! Bay! again! Not for me.

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs 01-JUL-09 I like this series, it has more heart than most non-Pixar animated films. I'm sure this will be about the same.
Public Enemies 01-JUL-09 I usually don't like biographical films, nor gangster films. Maybe I'll go see this with my Dad instead.

Bruno 10-JUL-09 A symptom of the downfall of Western Civilization is the fact that we are entertained by the grotesque. It is a shame that some of the brightest entertainers of this generation consider anything short of excess (shame, violence, crudity, etc.) to be ironic and passe.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince 15-JUL-09 More of the same; if you've liked them, you'll like this one. But a shout-out; the best version of Harry Potter going are the books-on-CD; the guy who reads them is amazing. Jane, does your car have a CD player? I am going to send Mrs. L out to Utah with a box to listen to on your drive east in June.

Funny People 31-JUL-09 Eh. Judd Apatow and Seth Rogan are more clever entertainers who tend towards the grotesque. I'm sure there really are people who are that gross all the time, but I certainly wouldn't invite them over to eat with my family.

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra 07-AUG-09 This looks like it should have stayed a cartoon. A waste of Doctor Who and the more excellent Quaid brother.

The Time Traveler's Wife 14-AUG-09 I loved this book; it's probably not going to be a major Summer Blockbuster, but I am sincerely hopeful that it's as discrete at the novel, not too lurid, and a good adaptation.

Inglourious Basterds 21-AUG-09 Eh, there's no way I'll be seeing this, but Tarantino's another on the list of artists who are fascinated with excess. Movies with misspelled titles annoy me on principle anyway.

Where the Wild Things Are 16-OCT-09 I know, not Summer, but I was stunned by how good this trailer looked. I am excited to see more.

Avatar 18-DEC-09 Note; this is NOT a movie version of the actually-pretty-good animated TV series. This is the first (fictional) James Cameron movie in more than a decade. Man, hope it was worth the wait.

So; that's what I think about movies. What do you think? Any reviewers you would recommend? Any web-sites you really like to use? Films you are looking forward to? There are so many great film options, I treasure the heartfelt suggestions of trusted friends.

A New Way to Study the Book of Mormon

In Stake Conference last month, President Clover made a remarkable comment about First Nephi, the first section of the Book of Mormon.

He said he felt the writings in First Nephi being an amazing text with which to examine family behavior and practice. I had never thought of it in those terms before. With my oldest daughter coming home for the summer, it occurred to me that we could read a chapter a week while she is home, and get all the way through the book. So we started a few weeks ago with Chapter One.

On Sunday night, we gathered, all of us but the youngest two. Rather than reading right through the chapter, I directed them to specific verses, and asked them questions about the family dynamics it called to my mind. I have the verses posted below and the questions we posed related to each. Over the next several months, I'll post these chapter study guides one at a time. If you have any suggestions you think fit this list, please feel free to leave a comment, and I'll fold them into this series.

1. I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.

Note the connection; Nephi asserts that he was taught what his Father/parents know because they were "goodly". What have you been taught?

2. Yea, I make a record in the language of my father, which consists of the learning of the Jews and the language of the Egyptians.

Do you speak in the language of your parents? Do you hear the way we talk to each other, to you? Do you speak that way?

5. Wherefore it came to pass that my father, Lehi, as he went forth prayed unto the Lord, yea, even with all his heart, in behalf of his people.

How did Nephi know what his Father did? Have you heard your parents discuss their spiritual experiences? Would you know them well enough to record them decades later in a recollection of this time in your life?

15. And after this manner was the language of my father in the praising of his God; for his soul did rejoice, and his whole heart was filled, because of the things which he had seen, yea, which the Lord had shown unto him.

Do you know what makes your parents' souls rejoice? Do you know fills the hearts of your siblings? Think of each other, listen to each other, know what makes your family happy.

18. Therefore, I would that ye should know, that after the Lord had shown so many marvelous things unto my father, Lehi, yea, concerning the destruction of Jerusalem, behold he went forth among the people, and began to prophesy and to declare unto them concerning the things which he had both seen and heard.

What did Lehi do after he received revelation? How did Nephi feel about his Father's work?

20. And when the Jews heard these things they were angry with him; yea, even as with the prophets of old, whom they had cast out, and stoned, and slain; and they also sought his life, that they might take it away. But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance.

What does the phrase "tender mercies" mean? Have you seen them in your life, in the lives of your families and loves ones?
How have you responded when other people are mad at your siblings or family? Do you take their side, or do you support your family?


My kids have a running joke that when I want to talk to them, I launch into a lecture attack. Like a Pokemon who has the capacity to bludgeon his opponent with words.
I am hoping that these studies aren't just me lecturing. It is good to have a common text, something to consider together.

See you next week with chapter two.

The Conservative Movement Has Embarassed Me.

I love this blog post. I love the points it makes. Yes, I understand that intellectuals can make condescending points that alienate people, and it is important to maintain an popular, populist capacity in your rhetoric.

But the conservative voices I hear speaking sound stupid, churlish in their contempt for science and intellect. There are powerful groundswells of national concern that seem tailored for a conservative thinker to speak to. The radical deconstruction over the past decade of what "family" means. Horrible, rampant government spending. A truly fearsome global security problem.

Why is my time wasted disputing global warming or evolution? Why is the public's time being frittered on who knew about what torture/interrogation techniques when? How are the causes that matter to this country persuasively argued by insulting Liberals?

Mother's Day

Mother's Day, 2002

The other day, I called home to visit with my wife about our evening schedule. Mrs. L was alone, but doing one of the things she loves the very best in the whole world.

Painting.

I, of course, was abashed for having interrupted, and rapidly wished her well, expressed love, bid my adieus, hurrying to get off the phone. She assured me it was a good time to stop and talk. I forgot whatever it was I was calling about; all I wanted was details about what she was painting. But...I have learned an important lesson over the years about being married to an artist.

Well, let me say that a different way; being married to my artist. I have often thought I could write the most excellent text on how to be blissfully happy in marriage, but it would only sell to people who were, or who wanted to be, married to my wife. Anyway...

The lesson is this; don't pester during the creation of something for details of the creation! That's like asking for details on a photo before you've shot it. Or for opinions on how dinner smells before you've turned on the oven. I learned over the years to trust Mrs. L, and to be excited about the prospect of something knew coming up.

I didn't know if it was furniture, the walls, fabric, a canvas. But I knew it would be fun to see. So, rather than act on my impulse, I moderated myself, and told her, "I can't wait to see what you are painting!"

Her response made laugh with delight. "Neither can I!"

Twenty years ago, that answer would have filled me with panic. I'm not a big fan of the chaos of the unknown. I am happy when I feel like I am in control.

So, the prospect of the unknown, unfolding with no clear vision of the outcome, in my house...pretty much not in control of that. Hence, my earlier panickiness.

But I am many things; I like feeling responsible and in control, but I also trust statistics. I trust my heart. It led me to Mrs. L, and she has never disappointed, has always delighted me. I am learning to embrace the thrill of letting someone else (who I trust) be in control sometimes.

She is the Mother of my children, the Matriarch of our home.

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of children.
"Vanity Fair" (vol. II, ch. XII)
William Makepeace Thackeray

That quote doesn't speak to arrogance on the part of mothers, but to their role, the power the represent. They teach their children everything, give their children everything. A body, sustenance to live, warmth, music, light. The world. With that giving, children grow.

They grow to have an opinion about their own comfort, and whether it matters. They learn to work, to make choices, to be loved and to love others.

Thank you Jennilyn for everything you do.

Mom!

Mrs. L has a great thing she's taught me to do as an adult; on my birthday, I try to take flowers to my Mom. She did all the hard work, we should really be celebrating and congratulating her!

It's mother's day. Mothers day? Mothers' Day? Where is the emphasis, where should it be? Are we celebrating the mother for each of us, the woman who we should be thanking on our birth-day?

Is it a day that Moms should be enabled to do whatever they want, like senior week for seniors?

Or is it a day that all women should be celebrated, sort of the way we celebrate veterans?

Maybe it's more like a big scholarly conference on motherhood, where we turn our national attention to the concept, hold meetings on it, watch TV specials about it, like Thanksgiving?

Life is complex. Families, children, parents, have layers of duties, wishes, energy, history, all moving them/us in different, often conflicting directions. My Mom taught me how to do so many things, and it is sobering now to realize the direction most of them have pointed me.

She taught me how to love my wife, by being so happy with my Father's attention.

She taught me how to nurture my family, how to center my joy in their success and happiness.

She taught me to be curious, to seek knowledge, to explore the world, physically and emotionally.

She showed me it was safe to be honest; that even if it makes me vulnerable, it also makes happy.

The things she taught me have carried me away from her, a person of my own.

She believed in me, that I could go and be an adult. And so I have. Now, today, Mother's Day (I went and looked it up; I think this is how it's supposed to be spelled, but even so, there is some confusion) is about my kids, helping them to attend their relationship with their Mom.

My Mom is more of a peer than a maternal figure now. It is a delight to be close to her geographically, so my children can develop a relationship with her as well. She continues to be a good mother, even if it is with a grand- prefix. That may change in the coming years. I see my Dad taking more solicitous care of his Mother these days, and hope if my Mom ever needs that kind of attention, that I can fill that role.

But I am struck today at the unselfish nature of motherhood, the years of labor and love poured into an effort to render yourself obsolete. I am filled with a great swell of gratitude for what my Mom did for me, has done for me.

Thank you, Mom, for all you did. I love you.