Mother's Day

Mother's Day, 2002

The other day, I called home to visit with my wife about our evening schedule. Mrs. L was alone, but doing one of the things she loves the very best in the whole world.

Painting.

I, of course, was abashed for having interrupted, and rapidly wished her well, expressed love, bid my adieus, hurrying to get off the phone. She assured me it was a good time to stop and talk. I forgot whatever it was I was calling about; all I wanted was details about what she was painting. But...I have learned an important lesson over the years about being married to an artist.

Well, let me say that a different way; being married to my artist. I have often thought I could write the most excellent text on how to be blissfully happy in marriage, but it would only sell to people who were, or who wanted to be, married to my wife. Anyway...

The lesson is this; don't pester during the creation of something for details of the creation! That's like asking for details on a photo before you've shot it. Or for opinions on how dinner smells before you've turned on the oven. I learned over the years to trust Mrs. L, and to be excited about the prospect of something knew coming up.

I didn't know if it was furniture, the walls, fabric, a canvas. But I knew it would be fun to see. So, rather than act on my impulse, I moderated myself, and told her, "I can't wait to see what you are painting!"

Her response made laugh with delight. "Neither can I!"

Twenty years ago, that answer would have filled me with panic. I'm not a big fan of the chaos of the unknown. I am happy when I feel like I am in control.

So, the prospect of the unknown, unfolding with no clear vision of the outcome, in my house...pretty much not in control of that. Hence, my earlier panickiness.

But I am many things; I like feeling responsible and in control, but I also trust statistics. I trust my heart. It led me to Mrs. L, and she has never disappointed, has always delighted me. I am learning to embrace the thrill of letting someone else (who I trust) be in control sometimes.

She is the Mother of my children, the Matriarch of our home.

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of children.
"Vanity Fair" (vol. II, ch. XII)
William Makepeace Thackeray

That quote doesn't speak to arrogance on the part of mothers, but to their role, the power the represent. They teach their children everything, give their children everything. A body, sustenance to live, warmth, music, light. The world. With that giving, children grow.

They grow to have an opinion about their own comfort, and whether it matters. They learn to work, to make choices, to be loved and to love others.

Thank you Jennilyn for everything you do.