Mom!

Mrs. L has a great thing she's taught me to do as an adult; on my birthday, I try to take flowers to my Mom. She did all the hard work, we should really be celebrating and congratulating her!

It's mother's day. Mothers day? Mothers' Day? Where is the emphasis, where should it be? Are we celebrating the mother for each of us, the woman who we should be thanking on our birth-day?

Is it a day that Moms should be enabled to do whatever they want, like senior week for seniors?

Or is it a day that all women should be celebrated, sort of the way we celebrate veterans?

Maybe it's more like a big scholarly conference on motherhood, where we turn our national attention to the concept, hold meetings on it, watch TV specials about it, like Thanksgiving?

Life is complex. Families, children, parents, have layers of duties, wishes, energy, history, all moving them/us in different, often conflicting directions. My Mom taught me how to do so many things, and it is sobering now to realize the direction most of them have pointed me.

She taught me how to love my wife, by being so happy with my Father's attention.

She taught me how to nurture my family, how to center my joy in their success and happiness.

She taught me to be curious, to seek knowledge, to explore the world, physically and emotionally.

She showed me it was safe to be honest; that even if it makes me vulnerable, it also makes happy.

The things she taught me have carried me away from her, a person of my own.

She believed in me, that I could go and be an adult. And so I have. Now, today, Mother's Day (I went and looked it up; I think this is how it's supposed to be spelled, but even so, there is some confusion) is about my kids, helping them to attend their relationship with their Mom.

My Mom is more of a peer than a maternal figure now. It is a delight to be close to her geographically, so my children can develop a relationship with her as well. She continues to be a good mother, even if it is with a grand- prefix. That may change in the coming years. I see my Dad taking more solicitous care of his Mother these days, and hope if my Mom ever needs that kind of attention, that I can fill that role.

But I am struck today at the unselfish nature of motherhood, the years of labor and love poured into an effort to render yourself obsolete. I am filled with a great swell of gratitude for what my Mom did for me, has done for me.

Thank you, Mom, for all you did. I love you.