Concert!

Max and Suzanna performed last night as part of the DC Festival of Lights. We were in the front row with a great view of them both. But it's a big auditorium (800? 900 seats?), I was impressed with how cool both of them were performing.

We saw Charlene with her kids, John and Jen Babcock with their whole family, a few other families from our Stake.

♪♫You Load Sixteen Tons, Whaddaya Get?♫♪♫

Thank you, Mr. Tennessee Ernie Ford.

Another year older. Yes, I know that the song's lyrics are "Another DAY older", but its contemplative tone resonates with me today.

This is the first time since I started blogging that I remember talking about something in a previous blog post. I think I said it pretty well last year. Go read that blog post!

I am glad to be living the life I have. My children are wonderful, my wife amazing. I am happy.

It has been sort of a drag being unemployed for three months. It seems like every self-observation I make needs to include an allowance for that. Things are good, even though I'm still out of work.

Christmas was great, but yeah, I'm still looking.

Having a great birthday, still applying.

Snow was fun last week, no immediate prospects.

So today, I'm grateful that my jobless status is the only big problem I'm facing. I am fortunate and blessed to be living the life I have.

Yesterday, Jenni and I took each other to see "Avatar" at the 3D Imax theater. Looked great, even though the plot was nothing new. I'm glad we saw it in a real theater.

Our great find was at the Ikea afterwards. Our favorite baby gave us a gift-card for Christmas. We've been collecting these chairs ("Urban" design, I've seen green, icy blue, white, and this color; they call it red, but it's pretty obviously orange, right?) for over two years, watching for them to show up in as is. I guess they are selling off the orange ones, because they were more than 50% off. We got three! If anyone finds any in the Ikea near them for less than $20, buy them for us? We'll get them eventually and pay you back!

Happy Holidays to everyone!

Update; In My Opinion, Finding Out Is Sometimes not Better than Being in the Dark

I got the sad letter today informing me that another candidate was selected for the job I interviewed two weeks ago.



Just letting folks know. I'll keep looking, keep hoping. Try to be cheerful and optimistic. I am grateful for good family members and friends, their encouragement is helpful, too.

Parenting the Imperfect

No, this is not a new pattern, I won't be starting every blog post off with a comic. Well, not unless I keep finding apropos comics...

Our poor house is a mess. We thought we'd have 3 days before the Christmas break to get everything clean, everything ready. Snow days have dashed that plan. There are snow clothes all over the kitchen, the front hallway, and the porch.

The cancellations have disrupted other things as well. Stewart was supposed to be wrestling tonight, and Emma was excited to finally see him in action. But with school cancelled, the meet is off! So that's sad, but now we can go carolling as a family tonight instead. We were going to try and cram it in tomorrow evening, which was the only night that we'd all be home.

This past weekend, we were signed up to help usher Max's concerts Saturday and Sunday night, but they got cancelled too. The Maryland State Boychoir held a single concert Monday night instead, and hoped that the combined crowds from the two cancellations wouldn't be too overwhelming. It was beautiful, of course.

Here are a few videos from Max's concert of the Changed Voice Choir singing Franz Biebl's Ave Maria. I know LDS teaching emphasizes not worshipping Mary, but I wonder sometimes if we shy too much from reverent appreciation on Mary's sacrifice and goodness. The adoration and affection that flows from this piece of music moves me nearly to tears every time I hear it.

Don't watch the videos for the visual quality, it's terrible. Just close your eyes and listen to the music.







Today will be a clean-up day. Our favorite baby is coming for an afternoon of overstimulation. The boys are dreading my repeated sorties into their room to battle the mountain of laundry. The pile of winter clothes is going to be banished to a closet. Perhaps I will just post some "after" pictures once it is clean

No News Is Stressful

Ten days ago, I had a great interview for the job I mentioned in my December 1st post, but haven't heard anything yet. When I think about it, my mind skitters away from dealing with the anxiety of it. It's hard to dwell on an unknown I cannot affect. There are other jobs I am applying for, one in DC that I am waiting for an interview to be scheduled. We keep praying, keep trying to be cheerful

So I focus on what I can affect.

Emma is home!



It snowed all day yesterday!You can see our front bushes slowly disappearing

No church this morning, but our Bishop gave us permission to conduct a short Sacrament service in our home. We were also asked to spend some time in service of our neighbors, and to consider it like the Elders Brigham Young directed to leave conference and go help bring home the stranded wagon trains. We agreed to go up the road to dig out one neighbor that Jennilyn is friends with (her husband is scheduled for hernia surgery). I sent Stewart ahead to get started while I finished our walk (just in case there was Seminary tomorrow).

Poor Stewart. He came back dejected about 30 minutes later. Apparently, he misunderstood the instruction, and went to the wrong house, and had finished about 2/3s of the driveway before the owner came out to ask him what he was doing. We tried to console him that service rendered is still valuable (the family has a severely handicapped son who travels in a wheelchair), but he was beside himself.

We all went back, to the right house this time. While there, our friend asked us if we could dig out the widow that lived across the street.

She has a son that cannot get up to see her very often. IT was a straight, short driveway, I knew we could do it in 20 minutes. As soon as we started on it, the husband/father in the house where Stewart had mistakenly shoveled came out and started up a snowblower. He came across the street and helped us clear out the hardest part, near the street where the plows had heaped snow in crusty chunks. I told Stewart that his help was the dividend we were receiving for his charitable (if mistaken) labor.

As we neared the front door of the widow's house, she came out and asked me how much she should pay us. I told her about our Bishop cancelling our church services, directing us instead to worship simply at home and look to our neighbors to see what help we could extend. She asked what our church was, and I told her.

"You are all fine Christians, and it is just a miracle you've come and dug me out!" I hope the kids remember that.

We are going to finish digging out from our house and walk to my parents' house to watch the Mormon Tabernacle Christmas special and have sacrament there. Probably some cinnamon rolls, too.

The kids have presents to wrap.

Max took Sam and Roxie sledding yesterday. I am sure they will be out playing again tomorrow. Today is a good day to sort through all the winter clothes and gear that we just put in a box and hid away last Spring. It is a good day.

Max's Previous Solo Experience

Someone asked about the time he sang "When You Say Nothing At All" with the North Harford Men's Chorus. Hear it here!

Busy Week, Busy Weekend

Saturday, it was cold. While Mrs. L. ran the birthday party at home and Stewart wrestled, I took the rest of the clan to Max's outdoor concert. We figured out the best way to stay warm was to huddle.


Can you see those great big awesome wintry flakes?

Because somebody wanted to know, this is what the broken table looked like while it was being fixed. So far, so good!

A highlight of the week was having a baby to play with! She was eating in the kitchen because . . . well, see the picture right above this one.

This is What "Win" Looks Like...

Our camera only records for 30 seconds, so you can see everything right up to the point where Stewart pins his opponent. Methodical, strong, and relentless. The whistle right in the middle is from a match on a nearby mat

Sorry for losing the action for a few seconds. I was watching pretty intensely.



Right after the referee slapped the mat, indicating Stewart had won the match by pinning his opponent. Stewart reached over and offered his opponent a hand up.

Woot!

When Do You Share News? Are You a Serial Sharer, or Do You Hold Off and Wait for the Whole Story?

"News". Facts. Information.

Where do you get yours? How do you share it? I feel like I constantly ask the children, when they are reporting something, to just tell me, "What did you do? What did you say? I don't want to hear your version of what someone else did, I can ask them that myself!" They know, by now, better than to under-report their own mistakes.

So many things happen. People get sick. Marriages founder. I remember going to my 15-year reunion and feeling ill from all the people who asked me about taking the bar exam.

"I'm sure you passed!"

*queasy* But what if I didn't? Part of me wished it was a secret that I had graduated from law school, so I could just wait until I knew if I had passed. How awful would it be to have everyone waiting for me to tell them good news...and I have to tell them bad news?

It's easy to understand why some people keep bad news to themselves. Why we wait, thinking to "protect" our friends and loved ones from worry. Sometimes, we are just protecting ourselves from that future embarrassment of having to follow a hopeful interim update with a sad conclusion. I don't think that's fair.

And what about news regarding other people? When you know something (or suspect something, or overhear something . . . or encounter the rumor of something, even?), who do you tell? Where does the respect for person A's privacy end, and the duty to share information begin?

If you find out your neighbor is having an affair, do you tell the spouse?

What if you found drugs in someone's gym bag?

What if you witnessed an abusive behavior by a parent, a boyfriend, a co-worker?

What if you heard about someone planning an activity that you think they'd regret tomorrow? What if you heard a friend's child planning something like that?

I'm not talking about real, legal duties to share; you have to report crimes. I'm talking about that nebulous moral zone occasioned by circumstances like those listed above. Do you have any other examples? Leave a comment with some!

For some, it might be easy to just barge in and start sharing information. I'm pretty sure that's not the best approach; we are cautioned strongly (by both scripture and etiquette manuals) against being gossips, for good reason. Unity and community are important, worthy ideals. A willingness to believe bad news about others (or the tendency to actively seek it out and share it) is destructive to trust and affection, both immediately and eternally.

It involves respect for one another, respect for privacy. If you come to know something damaging about someone else, and it wasn't that person themselves who shared the info with you, how do you handle it?

But it also entails a commitment to the truth. There is a reason hearsay isn't allowed in court. But set that aside, consider only things you know are true. Even if you come into the knowledge of a report of something, it is the fact of the report that is true, not the contents.

There are issues of curiosity, history, gossip, accuracy, all swirling in the issue. Surely nobody wants to be a rumor-monger or gossip, but hopefully, nobody really believes it's better to not know things about each other. Life and coping have their best chances to happily succeed in an environment of honesty and acceptance. Sunshine and openness.

I think we have a social, familial obligation, a duty to share information with each other, if it is information we would acquire ourselves *if* *we* *were* present. On the other hand, things that we wouldn't know about, even if we were neighbors, should be more discretionary. But I wouldn't underestimate the power of community and acceptance to be helpful even with a private struggle like that.

If someone is struggling with drug addiction, for example, or having marital problems, I think it would be a matter very much up to that person and their spouse, whether or not to share details with the family. But if someone got arrested for a drug problem, or got separated/divorced, or suffered some other public setback, then I strenuously argue that the fact of it should be shared with those people who love and care for the person. If you know, you have a duty to disclose.

What about hard feelings and prejudice? If sharing some act, comment, or behavior that is relevant, causes someone to harbor ill-feelings against the actor, shame on them. We have a duty to love, even to increase our love, especially in circumstances of trials like these. No one should feel their problems or hardships exclude them from their family, their friends, their loved ones.


Climbing back down, more to the point, when do you share something that is in process? Jenni's been gone for 8 days now. Our lovely huge dining room table broke (30 minutes before our guests were coming on Thanksgiving!), but it is almost put back together.

Should I have mentioned that the day it happened? Since it will be fixed before she gets back, should I just not mention it? Or should I wait until it is fixed and just reveal how awesome-talented I am in all things carpentastic?

(this was our on-the-fly fix)

I get asked, at least once a day (much more often if I am in a crowd), "How's the job hunt going?"

It is an act of will not to sigh dramatically before responding, "Still looking!"

Should I discuss the call-backs I get? Should I share when I am invited in for an interview?

I think so. So, to that end, I do have an interview next Tuesday, an office job with the Maryland Judiciary.

Just promise me you won't quiz me too closely on the follow-up. If I get the job, I'll let you know.